One of my favorite memes on Facebook is the site called “Laugh Until It Hurts, and You Can’t Breathe”. A post on this site I saw a few months back was a short checklist of advice and reminders for anyone venturing back into the world after the isolation of COVID quarantine. The list includes the following:

  • Drink your coffee.
  • Stay focused and positive.
  • Don’t freak out.
  • Remember stabbing people is wrong.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly

  • Are you wearing pants?

Screaming “yes or no” was not on the list but could be added easily, I think. As difficult as it might be to refrain from screaming would most probably be added as a “no”. One example for eliciting a good blood-curdling scream that comes quickly to mind would be: how many people do you need to run into who do not have their face mask covering their nose before you start screaming at them to do it right? The need for correct mask-wearing is particularly important for the Delta variant of COVID. This virus loves to hang out in your nose. One of the early symptoms of Delta infection is a runny nose often with sneezing and every sneeze would include plenty of virus particles blasted into the surrounding air.

Perhaps I am overly sensitive to this next scream-inducing behavior because I was a nurse for over 40 years. That behavior would be the person wearing gloves who thinks that all sanitary behavior can be thrown to the wind. Maybe going from task to task with gloves on may provide some modicum of protection for the person wearing them but does nothing for anyone else they encounter. I am always reminded of a little nugget a dear friend, long deceased, was fond of saying: when asked if he had made a cake for dessert from scratch for example and he would respond “oh yes, I scratched my ass and opened the box”. Wearing gloves does not give one license to pick your nose, scratch your ass or stifle a cough, or sneeze and then proceed ahead with my burrito preparation.

There certainly are many things in our world one could justifiably scream about these days, though I do think it was when I was younger that I could actually muster a good scream. These days a despondent whimper or guttural sigh seems to be the expressions I elicit most often. These muted vocalizations do not seem to carry the same cathartic release that a good scream might. Unfortunately, these days it is not infrequent that I trip when out walking and take a header onto the pavement. I never scream when I should probably do so. I am already quite embarrassed, and a scream would only attract more attention to a bit of clumsiness that was due to not paying attention.

In the past year, I have become an addict when it comes to the show Schitt’s Creek having watched it more times than I am willing to admit to.

I am reminded of an episode of Schitt’s Creek when a businesswoman was thinking of possibly pitching to Johnny the idea of a health club for the town where one could engage in Screamnastics. She did though decide that Schitt’s Creek was not ready for this cutting-edge therapy. I do endorse a lot more screaming in socially sanctioned places since random screaming in America these days will probably just get you arrested or maybe just shot. Something else to scream about, I guess.